Seasons

Yesterday, as I was walking to my night yoga class, I briefly overheard a conversation between two strangers. What stuck out to me the most was when one said to the other, “You know, I’ve made all of the sacrifices that I thought I was supposed to make and I don’t feel any happier. I don’t understand it.”

I think life would be pretty boring if we understood it before we were meant to. I think we try to understand it through marriages, and by having children, and locking in careers - and that’s not the key to living, though when those things do enter our lives in a divine manner, they make living a much more beautiful experience. Don’t get me wrong.

I am in the season of my life where I am discovering what’s really important to me - what’s important to my soul and honing in on that completely and unapologetically.

Something I've finally come to terms with is that I'm not in a season of creativity.

My entire focus is on bettering myself mentally, physically, and spiritually.

My days look like this: work, gym, spending time in the sun, taking Aspen for long walks, and cooking balanced meals.

And for right now, that is all I want and all I need.

Full transparency: I haven’t picked my camera up in weeks. I have no desire to create.

Have I battled internally with this? Absolutely I have. It’s hard to live in a city such as Los Angeles, where I came to chase a dream, and ultimately put myself before my dream. My nightly thoughts race like this… I should be out networking, everyone is here doing this, and doing that… why am I in bed by 9pm, stay up and work on a moodboard.. why are you not out on the scene making connections.. do you even want this anymore? What do you even want anymore, Laiken?

Isn’t it funny how we exhaust ourselves, sometimes.

Isn’t it funny how we box ourselves in, sometimes.

My good friend Kim told me something that allowed me to finally surrender and understand the season that I’m in. She said, “You’re working on and caring for yourself more than ever now so that when you do enter your next creative season, not only will you flourish in a new way, but because you are taking the time to get your mental right, you are least likely to have a setback.” I cannot even begin to express the relief I felt after hearing that. So thank you, Kim.

It’s true though.

God cannot bless us with what we need until we take care of ourselves at the core and build a strong foundation.

Even when I am not creating, I am still an artist. That’s just who I am, and who I’ve always been.

I recognized very early on that I have always seen life differently - even as a young girl running around the muggy Louisiana countryside in my pawpaw’s oversized tee shirt with a coffee stain on it - I’ve always valued my perspective.

Even without a camera in hand, I am thankful for the way I see life and the way I appreciate the simplicity in everyday living.

We can make all the sacrifices we want, but true fulfillment comes when you surrender, learn to be where your feet are, and water the grass that’s underneath them.

The way I see it is: we’re all just wandering around this floating rock trying to figure out what season we’re in.

My perfect summer playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1ArtnTRvpI91BVIUtvhn4d?si=gUx5zojJQX2lE3aT351Vpg