The L Word
I’ve been thinking a lot about it: love.
For obvious reasons - Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I’m literally reading a book called 8 Rules of Love.
But aside from that, I’ve just been reevaluating what it looks like in my life.
Romantically speaking, I’m somewhat surprised that I haven’t been married and divorced already. I don’t say that lightly, but I love really hard and well, I admit I haven’t had the best track record lol.
Story time. So I’m dating this guy, and at this point we’re both mentally/emotionally checked out of the relationship but respectfully so. We were best friends and had made some life changing memories together, but sometimes you can’t stop the inevitable: growing apart. So dig, Christmas rolls around and he comes over to my crib empty handed. My heart stopped. I immediately thought, there is no way in hell he’s going to propose to me on Christmas Day and if he does, how the hell am I going to say no? Or do I just say yes and figure it out later. I was still a people pleaser at this point in my life and I was freaking out internally. It comes time to open gifts, and he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a gift card. A damn gift card! I thanked God quicker than the moment your pregnancy test shows up negative and that was our last Christmas together.
I think I’ve loved a little bit of everyone I’ve ever been with.
I also watch too many movies and I tend to romanticize everything.
No seriously, I recently took a roadtrip and made an overnight stop in Tucson. I pull into the hotel around midnight, check in, and end up having a beer and conversation with the man at the front desk. He was cute, and we kind of flirted but more like an awkward midnight delusion. I still went back to my room and had a thought like “maybe that’s my soulmate”. I’m crazy I know but I really see the potential in every connection, and don’t believe in coincidences which can be quite the curse as it is the blessing.
I currently have a crush on a man that is the complete opposite of anyone I’ve ever dated. Naturally, I’m telling one of my best friends about it and she then gives me some solid advice. Just enjoy this crush for what it is, a lil crush , she says. Harmless flirting with someone that you see around in your everyday life , whether that be work or the gym or the post office, is literally just making that place a more pleasurable place to be so often.
It’s all about perspective, baby.
Who do I think I am? Carrie Bradshaw? LOL
Happy V-Day,
Laik xo
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